The attire of the mothers of the bride and groom always seems to stir up a little bit of drama (and I don't mean the good kind). Whether you're the bride, the mother of the bride, the groom, or just a guest with an opinion, there’s always a lot of buzz around this topic. So, let’s talk about what the mothers should wear, how to keep it stress-free, and how to make everyone feel fabulous while still honoring tradition.
1. Start with Communication
Before we dive into the nitty-gritty of fabric choices and color schemes, let me say this: Communication is key! The first step in choosing what the mothers should wear is making sure everyone is on the same page.
Mothers, this is your time to shine, but it’s also your chance to show respect and support for the couple’s big day. Talk with your son or daughter and ask them what their vision is for the wedding day. If the bride and groom are going for a formal black-tie affair, then a casual sundress may not be quite the right choice. On the flip side, if the wedding is laid-back and rustic, a full-length gown may feel out of place.
Pro tip: Coordinate but don’t match. The days of “matching” outfits for the bride’s and groom’s mothers are long gone. Instead, focus on complementary colors and styles that work well together without being identical.
2. What About Colors?
Ah, color—the thing that can cause the most confusion! There are a few rules of thumb here, but ultimately, it depends on the style and theme of the wedding.
For the Mother of the Bride: Traditionally, the mother of the bride is supposed to wear something that doesn’t overshadow the bride but still stands out in photos. As a general rule, the mother of the bride can wear colors that complement the bridal party’s colors but stay away from white, ivory, or off-white—those are reserved for the bride. Also, consider wearing something in a deeper shade to set you apart from the bridal party’s light, pastel hues.
Think jewel tones (emerald, sapphire, burgundy) or soft neutrals (champagne, dove gray). It’s all about showing your individual style while letting the bride have her moment in the spotlight.
For the Mother of the Groom: Similar to the mother of the bride, the mother of the groom should also avoid white. But other than that, she has a bit more freedom to choose a color that complements the groom’s side of the family. If there’s a family tradition, she might want to honor that by wearing a certain color or style, but there are no hard-and-fast rules. If the groom’s mother wants to wear a soft blush pink and the bride’s mom chooses a rich navy, that's perfectly fine—just make sure there's harmony, not competition, in the overall look.
A Note on Bold Colors: If you’re thinking about wearing a bright, bold color (think red, cobalt blue, or even black), go for it! The important thing is to find a shade that you love and feel confident in. However, you want to be mindful of the wedding’s tone. For example, a bright neon color might be out of place at a formal, classic wedding but would work beautifully at a fun beach wedding.
3. The Style Factor
Now, let’s get to the fun part—choosing the right style. Whether it’s a flowing gown, a sophisticated tea-length dress, or a tailored suit, the key is feeling comfortable, confident, and in line with the wedding’s overall vibe.
If the Wedding is Formal or Black-Tie:A floor-length gown is always a safe bet for both mothers. However, it doesn’t have to be “grandma-style” or something your mom would never wear. Look for dresses with modern cuts, flattering silhouettes, and elegant fabrics like chiffon, silk, or satin. A tailored jacket or shawl can complete the look if the event is in the evening or during colder months.
For a More Casual Wedding:For a beach wedding or a laid-back outdoor affair, the moms can wear tea-length dresses or even a chic pantsuit. A flowing maxi dress or an elegant jumpsuit could be just the thing if the vibe is relaxed yet still a little glam. Comfort is key here—make sure the mothers feel as good as they look!
Tip for Comfort: If heels aren’t your thing, there are plenty of stylish flat shoes, sandals, or kitten heels that will work just as well—especially if the ceremony takes place on grass or sand. And don’t forget about the weather! If it’s an outdoor wedding, you might want to advise the mothers to avoid delicate fabrics that could get ruined by rain or dirt.
4. Accessorizing Without Overdoing It
Accessories are where you can add a personal touch to the outfit. Consider subtle jewelry that complements the dress without taking attention away from the bride or the ceremony. Keep it elegant—simple pearls, a delicate bracelet, or a statement necklace if the dress is more minimal. If you’re wearing a sleeveless or off-the-shoulder dress, a beautiful shawl or bolero jacket can add sophistication and coverage for cooler evenings.
For hair, simple but elegant hairstyles are ideal. Think soft curls, a low bun, or an elegant updo. And remember, don’t forget to get a professional consultation if you want to be sure your hair and makeup are just right.
5. And Last but Not Least…Have Fun!
The most important thing is that everyone feels beautiful and confident in their attire. The mothers of the bride and groom have an important role to play on the wedding day, and their outfits should reflect their personalities and their pride in the couple. This day is all about love, joy, and celebration, so don’t sweat the small stuff!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a wedding planner, it’s that no two weddings are alike, and neither are the people who attend them. Whether you're the mother of the bride, the groom, or a guest, the best outfit is one that reflects who you are—because when you feel amazing, you’ll shine just as brightly as the happy couple.
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